This morning I was so pissed off I recorded a rant. First time I’ve ever done something like that, I think. And I continued to be so pissed that I transcribed it and translated it. So it’s not something I outlined ahead of time, and it doesn’t contain all the counterarguments for objections people are going to have. But it gave me energy, and enough people are curious how things are here for me, so I’m going to share it. If you don’t want to read a rant, just pass this one by. Hopefully I’ll write something else more considered, which will be about Ancestral Lineage Healing or animism, or magic, or music, or intuition, or something else related soon enough. Anyway, here it is.
Reality here feels stretched so thin it’s about to burst; it’s not clear how it didn’t burst a long while ago. Or maybe you could say it did.
Against a background of the return of bodies, against a background of another derailing of negotiations. Against a background of interviews with the hostages‘ families, where they’re asked a bunch of questions, and the last one is always what they would like to say to their loved ones in captivity on the slight chance that they‘re listening. To which they always reply that they love them and miss them, ask them to hang on and to believe that they’ll be home soon, and that they are doing everything, everything, everything to free them.
And it’s simply unbearable! I can’t help but imagine hostages who hear the news; they don’t just hear this part. They hear again and again and again about the negotiations failing, again and again and again that the negotiating team will be sent again in a week, and crazier things than that. We hear all the time how we don’t do everything! How do you expect them to hear for months and months that we are doing everything and expect them to believe it and believe that it stands a chance of succeeding? I don’t understand telling them anything other than that they are loved and missed, and that we will make sure to settle accounts with our leaders who abandoned them to be taken hostage and continue to abandon them there to their deaths.
I know, I’m supposedly not involved at all. I have no personal connections, I am not at the demonstrations in the square. But I’m still part of the collective here, and I would love to see and hear all the media, and also all the families and all their representatives, not agree to ask or answer any other question, except “Netanyahu, how are you going to end this?!” That’s all. I certainly have no patience for anything else.
At first there was talk of exchanging everyone for everyone, and some said that was never on the table, and the truth is that it doesn’t matter, except as an example of an “everything” that could be done to bring them home. What is this “everything” that we always say we’re doing, anyway? Attacking? How are people not noticing that every attack, every targeted assassination just brings more and heavier reprisals? How are people thinking that more killing makes us safe?! As far as I’m concerned, yes, we should do everything, just like we say we are. And that’s what needs to be said, all the time, over and over again. A 2-minute loop that says, “What are you doing? When will you do it? Why doesn’t the negotiating team sit there, day and night, with full authority, until there’s an agreement? How can you go on like this over and over and over? How can you think that hasn’t worked for 10 months, 11 months, almost a year, is suddenly going to work now?!”
And that’s it: a 2 minute loop of just that, on all the channels, until something moves.
And “After what you’ve enabled, get out, step aside, give back the keys, go. Go. Go.”
And “Sign the damn thing. Sign it. Sign it.” Whatever it is. Nothing else matters right now. Bring the living back, alive. first. before anything. Not just now, it should have been done half a year ago, almost a whole year ago, from the beginning! That’s the only thing we needed to see. People keep quoting, “If someone rises up to kill you, kill them first.” But that was on October 7. Had I been in a position to, I wouldn’t have hesitated to fight then either. But you didn’t do it then. You weren’t there. You have proven that you don’t know how to do that, that you’re not capable of it. It was relevant then, not now, and you can’t do it now, because now you are too late. You also can’t bring all the hostages back alive now, like you could have then. You’re too late.
If in the end there is no strategy to live in this place without constantly killing and being killed, without a reality in which more Jews are killed here than anywhere else in the world since the Holocaust, if you can’t find a way to live here without having to always demonstrate how we are the best at killing, if that is the situation here until the end of days, then there is no point. There is no reason to be here. It certainly is not a haven to save the Jewish people, which was the idea.
If the Jewish people in general had any greatness, it certainly was not from engaging in war. We did other things, studying, research, trade, law – not war. If what we need to become to live here is the ultimate experts in killing, then there is no justification.
So end this miserable war, bring them home, pay what needs to be paid (which is the cost of your own mistakes), and do everything, which means everything and not as if everything, an empty word, and move forward to a situation where we don’t live in a reality like this. Because if this is the reality we have to live in, there is no point.
And I don’t buy that it’s not in our hands. A lot is in our hands. The people here have amazing abilities, if only we direct them in a constructive and useful direction. Until we absolutely exhaust what is under our control, let’s not complain about what is not.
And yes, in the midst of all this, I’m guide and teach Ancestral Lineage healing. It seems to me very relevant to care for the generations before us and the traumas they left us that continue to affect our lives now. But you can’t just talk about abundance, or personal growth, or I don’t know what, even if we personally, including myself, are personally in a wonderful period, it’s absolutely not okay to detach from what is happening in the sense of not giving what we have and trying to do something to change the bleakest collective reality we have ever known. Even if all we have is to speak up.
Well said.
Thank you.